stress eating

This is the first time I’ve ever eaten an entire Zaxby’s salad in one sitting, toast & all.

There’s no succinct way to describe the situation without risking the essence, but I’m going to try anyway. And I suppose that’s the moral of this whole story: I’m going to try anyway.

Last night, Clay & I hung out with Trainwreck & Mirna. About 15 minutes in, it occurred to me that maybe I should’ve prepared Clay for what he was about to walk into, but in hindsight, I think a warning just would’ve made him nervous. Thrown into the deep end, he swam well with us and landed better jokes than most first-timers. It was cozy and comfortable, and I was pleased that towards the night I had somehow laughed myself out. No, seriously. We laughed all evening and by the time the night was ending my body felt it was incapable of laughing anymore, despite still finding things to be hilarious.

So, a good evening sprinkled with cute moments was brought to a close by him hovering over me, naked, with both of us fully aware of what was about to happen. And it happened. And it was good. Hmm…that was the first time I have felt comfortable re-living and loving the moment. I’ve been so focused on the magnitude of the meaning of my decision to remove my panties that I’ve completely overlooked how much I enjoyed the sex.

It was awkward. It was good. It was hot. It was intense. It was surreal.

And I’m afraid because it was good. And I’m still holding on to ‘yet’.